My husband, the actor David Arquette, tells me how wonderful the ageing process can be, but I think it’s easier for men.It’s a big adjustment to realise you are not the youngest girl in the room any more, to see men going for the perky little 20-year-old over you, and to discover that men are not as attracted to you anymore.
My new show, Cougar Town, has a lot to say about women and ageing, which are two subjects I know a lot about. I play Jules, who is 40-plus, divorced and dating again. She can’t believe how much the singles scene has changed. She is the most complex character I have ever played on TV and I just love her.
A ‘cougar’ is an older woman who is attracted to younger men, be they her son’s friends or her daughter’s teen idols such as Zac Efron.I do think that life is tough for women over 40. I can’t imagine being back out there again trying to date.It’s doubly hard ageing in Hollywood. I was already worried about getting older when I was 30.
I’m 45 now and I realise how silly it was to be so concerned with all that when I didn’t have to be. Now, I like to think I have more perspective.The pressure on actresses to look a certain way is incredible. I have always been open about what I have done to help myself look as good as I can be. As you get older, your body and your face naturally change. I tried Botox, but it wasn’t for me.
I am an actor, I need to be able to move my face, to show emotion. Having my five-year-old daughter, Coco, helps me stay in shape.Running around after her burns up a lot of calories. I also work out as often as I can.I do lots of cardio during the week and I love playing tennis at the weekend.I should do more, but who has the time? There are downsides to the ageing process, but there are many advantages, too. I know myself much better now.
I am always working on improving myself. I am still so amazed that I am a mother.Every day, my daughter brings such a smile to my face. She does the silliest things and we just love laughing together.
I also know now that I deserve this wonderful life I have. And I would like to think I have more confidence in myself. David and I have a production company that we named Coquette – a combination of our last names.I would never have taken on the role of producer when I was younger. Now I thrive on being part of the whole creative process. I know what I enjoy, and what is important in my life, and that stops me worrying unnecessarily.
Age gives you that perspective.